outside today, using the old stone well casing as an altar. Trees and sky reflected in the paten, as I lifted it up with the bread of life to be transformed into the body of Christ, lifted up our lives to be transformed into Light. The morning sun shone off the cup; it felt as if the whole acre, the trees and I were all one cup sharing what it felt like to be filled with eternal Presence. 
I found myself, with some trepidation, at a juncture of trauma between Christianity and Nature. As beautiful as the ceremony felt, I knew that someone looking down on me from the windows of the office next door could have any one of several reactions. Not everyone would see the beauty - a woman raising Christ's cup to nature goes against certain kinds of Church beliefs; those who follow mystical or feminine or nature-related paths often have histories that associate Christian practices with pain and rejection. There is anguish and pain on both sides.
PTSD symptoms include feeling separated from life, and from clear thinking. This is strongly evident in our western culture's relationship with nature. Drawing from the wisdom of indigenous tribes who lived embedded in nature, there are many ceremonies that seek to restore harmony at deep levels. Communion is designed to do the same thing. I can't see a separation, except through the imagined eyes of that watcher in the next building. Then I can feel the thousands-years war, and feel a slight tingle of danger as I step onto a bridge that joins them. In our meditations, I would ask for light and love to go to dissolve this weird separation from nature that has occurred.
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