Notes from a kind of journal I’m keeping, just in case it might be useful. I’m also transcribing notes from others (in a way that protects confidentiality) and will post those as well. Meanwhile, would love to hear continued feedback and insights!!!
Ash Wednesday
One thing I experienced in this morning’s service was tangibility. The hosts of heaven were indeed strongly present (the opening prayer invokes their presence). This is solidity of a different kind than the chair I’m sitting in. It’s hard to describe when you get into seeing, feeling, hearing in the non-physical world. My senses are pretty normal; I don’t have a great deal of psychic ability, don’t see ghosts or such things. What I experience is a knowing that is ultimately real, even more real than the chair.
I feel called to surrender to the presence of the eternal good in the power of suffering and the grace of not being in control even though a great deal of what I hear in spiritual circles is about taking control and creating your own life. Someone said the other day that there are two hidden words in the first commandment. “I am the Lord, your God…you’re not.” The essence of our conundrum is that we are co-creators with God, neither completely in control nor completely passive. This is the koan, the sacred riddle, of life on earth.
Thurs.
Heartfelt wisdom has been coming in from people responding to my e-mail, frequently bringing tears of joy. During mass, I gathered up all that love and strength into the cup, onto the plate, and flung it out into the gook layer, where it became a spider web of light clinging to the top, then sinking into it and becoming a three-dimensional network. Sticky, strong, unshakeable like spider silk. Cracks in the gook radiating light. What power we generate togther as we join the legions of light/life/love workers both physical and heavenly.
Fri.
Mass has a physical recipient today. Her presence sets up a field that strengthens our purpose. My meditation focuses on what the western teachers called the seven inner stars. I do a detailed meditation at each one, cleansing and balancing myself, what I radiate, and the whole layer of consciousness associated with each arena of human endeavor. Again I feel the supporting presence of the hosts of heaven and the angels of light invoked on Ash Wednesday. Congruently, it also talks about joyful fasting and turning our hearts to the treasures of the eternal. A cross of oil is drawn on participants forhead, the oil being blessed with the infinite wisdom and grace of the light that is the substance of the universe.
Sat (written on Sunday)
Looking back on yesterday, which was full of frustrations on that very personal level of interacting with technology, finances and all the nitty gritty details of functional life, its as if a layer of personal reactiveness was brought to the surface, laid over with the healing spider web of light, and lifted up at the altar as a kind of bread that my inner adrenilin-junkie part has fed on for a long time. The last moments before bed were full of discouragement. All I could do was breathe in and out as I did my (more adult, maybe) version of “now I lay me down to sleep” surrender to “that which is” versus “that which I, in all my wisdom, think should be”.
Sun.
I slept well for a full 8 hours, so the day’s closing prayer must have worked. And new insights into the functional life problems make me hopeful. The content of my personal contribution to the gook layer is painfully clear. Hope springs up as new insights reveal tools and practices for healing survival reactions that have outlived their usefulness. Part of me loves to panic, to creatively imagine worst-case-scenarios as future fact, especially in the area of personal finances. There is a subtle chemical rush that makes me feel like part of the normal world; fear has an edge that we relish (as writers of thrillers and producers of slasher films well know).
I have a kind of chemistry-lab in my head (I was going to be a biochemist when I got diverted to seminary). I envision reversing the flow in a tube connected to the gook layer. Perhaps we can convert the energy of artificially stimulating our adrenals to siphon off energy from the beastly gook, rather than feed it. Worrying about the financial future or riding a wild thriller film may not be heaven on earth, but is certainly better for the common good than shooting someone.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Join In
If this practice calls to you, please incorporate it into your own work, both internal and external. I have seen a shared meditation like this have big impact! There are several ways to participate.
Monday: 6:30-7:30 p.m., communion at 7:00 (no meeting April 2)
Wednesday: 7:30-8:30 a.m., communion at 8:00 (no meeting April 4)
Sunday: 4:00-5:00 p.m., communion at 4:30 (no meeting April 1)
Easter Sunday, April 8: Easter service at 10:30 a.m
There is a 1/2 hour meditation before communion; if you are running late, just enter the chapel quietly! Afterwards, we've been having tea and marvelous conversations. Please e-mail me if you need directions or more information.
Communion is served on Tues, Thurs, Fri, Sat., usually in the late afternoon or early evening, before Jim and I go home for the day. We are flexible, and occasionally serve in the morning. Requests for times that work for you gladly honored whenever we can!
- Include the image of "dissolving the gook with love" in your prayer or meditation practice. This is the simplest and most immediate way to join in.
- Share your experiences by adding comments to this blog, or e-mail me.
- Join with others in time, we gather in the nonphysical world to spend 15-30 minutes with the practice once a day, twice a day, once a week...
- Mornings: between 7:00 & 8:00 a.m and/or
- Evenings Between 6:30 & 7:30 p.m.
- Sundays: between 4:00 & 5:00 p.m.
- Weekly focus: if you can only join in once at week at the scheduled times, you may want to time it with the physical gatherings and ceremony that happen in the Brookhaven neighborhood of Atlanta. Those are listed below.
It helps to know that there are others joining in even when we can't physically see them. I wanted us to have flexibility and be able to have a sense of shared practice even when our schedules and physical locations don't match! Of course we are dealing in a non-space-time world with this, so if you can’t “be there” at the exact time, you can still tap into it whenever you do your practice. Since there are people participating in all the continental U.S. time zones, our meditations roll across the country every day. Very cool!
Monday: 6:30-7:30 p.m., communion at 7:00 (no meeting April 2)
Wednesday: 7:30-8:30 a.m., communion at 8:00 (no meeting April 4)
Sunday: 4:00-5:00 p.m., communion at 4:30 (no meeting April 1)
Easter Sunday, April 8: Easter service at 10:30 a.m
There is a 1/2 hour meditation before communion; if you are running late, just enter the chapel quietly! Afterwards, we've been having tea and marvelous conversations. Please e-mail me if you need directions or more information.
Communion is served on Tues, Thurs, Fri, Sat., usually in the late afternoon or early evening, before Jim and I go home for the day. We are flexible, and occasionally serve in the morning. Requests for times that work for you gladly honored whenever we can!
The Original Vision
As Lent approaches, I often find myself focusing on a theme for the season. I wanted to share this year's theme with some friends, and see if anyone felt moved to participate.
So here's what I'm seeing.
Once upon a time upon a mountain in the full moon light of a very cold night, I saw love incarnate in the light - every mote, every sparkle was dancing with the substance of the universe, that is God, that is love. Since then it seems to me that even the chair I'm sitting in is constructed of vibrant love.
Another time, worried about the condition of the world (easy to be worried!) I must have somehow asked a clear question about how to help - one of those miracles that come and go and don't remain in memory! What I saw in answer was a picture of one of the contributors to ongoing violence, hatred, anger and the desire of some people to exploit or control others. It is a world-wide shared layer of the results of trauma (a planetary case of post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD) that breeds more trauma. I saw it as an oily gook, hardened into rock in some places.
Simultaneously I saw how tangible love could dissolve that layer and contribute to a more heavenly life on earth, and that simply sitting and radiating that love into the oily gook was, at least, a good way to contribute. It has been a good outlet for service in my prayers and meditations, and has the wonderful effect of lessening my worry and dissolving my personal internal scars and reactions as well. I feel it has a healing effect on my family, friends, clients, all those I have concern for.
My practice of this vision has been sporadic, so it has occurred to me that it will be a good thing to dedicate this Lent to being more regular about seeing the world-wide layer of PTSD dissolved in love.
If this practice calls to you, please incorporate it into your own work, both internal and external. If you do anything like that, I would love to hear from you, and, if you care to, share it with others who are participating.
So here's what I'm seeing.
Once upon a time upon a mountain in the full moon light of a very cold night, I saw love incarnate in the light - every mote, every sparkle was dancing with the substance of the universe, that is God, that is love. Since then it seems to me that even the chair I'm sitting in is constructed of vibrant love.
Another time, worried about the condition of the world (easy to be worried!) I must have somehow asked a clear question about how to help - one of those miracles that come and go and don't remain in memory! What I saw in answer was a picture of one of the contributors to ongoing violence, hatred, anger and the desire of some people to exploit or control others. It is a world-wide shared layer of the results of trauma (a planetary case of post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD) that breeds more trauma. I saw it as an oily gook, hardened into rock in some places.
Simultaneously I saw how tangible love could dissolve that layer and contribute to a more heavenly life on earth, and that simply sitting and radiating that love into the oily gook was, at least, a good way to contribute. It has been a good outlet for service in my prayers and meditations, and has the wonderful effect of lessening my worry and dissolving my personal internal scars and reactions as well. I feel it has a healing effect on my family, friends, clients, all those I have concern for.
My practice of this vision has been sporadic, so it has occurred to me that it will be a good thing to dedicate this Lent to being more regular about seeing the world-wide layer of PTSD dissolved in love.
If this practice calls to you, please incorporate it into your own work, both internal and external. If you do anything like that, I would love to hear from you, and, if you care to, share it with others who are participating.
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